So I was listening to Beyonce (circa 2010) and she kept on referring to a concept called “winner’s mind.” At the time, I was so far from having a winner’s mind that I didn’t think twice about it. It’s only when I was well into adulthood -and my psychology career- that I finally started to understand what this exquisite woman was talking about.
A lot of us underestimate our potential and undermine our accomplishments. Many of my clients admit to lacking healthy pride and feeling a general sense of indebtedness vis-a-vis the world around them. Successful people, on the other hand, don’t do this. If you listen closely, they have secrets to share about attaining the success you want. Read their biographies. What do they say? How do they think? How do they present themselves and how do they express it? Well, I can tell you a few things.
- They will not self-depreciate.
- They will celebrate their accomplishments.
- They will not let insecurity get the best of them.
- They will respectfully accept compliments.
- They will not curse those with money.
- They believe creating wealth is achievable.
- They do not believe money is the root of all evil.
- They often have good posture.
- They will not tolerate disrespect.
- They will surround themselves with healthy people.
- They will not get stuck in feeling sorry for themselves.
- They know how to apologize and learn from their mistakes. …. And even if they fall short of any of these, they will get back on track.
Of course, no one is perfect and they may not be successful in all aspects of their lives but I can guarantee that they have ‘a winner’s mind’ in the department for which they are successful.
So what am I trying to say? If you want to be successful, you must acknowledge your limited thinking patterns. What is your internal dialogue about your dreams and aspirations? Is it self-depreciating, insecure, uncertain, pessimistic, anxious, worried…? If so, these thoughts will stop you from seeing opportunities for advancement and finding success.
Here is my prescription to start interacting with your winner’s mind.
- Acknowledge and even generate a list of your limited thoughts about your aspirations. I literally want you to write down actual and precise thoughts that are not serving you. They might be outside of your awareness at first but find them and list them. Thoughts like these would count as limited: “They won’t believe in the product I’m presenting.” “I’m not good enough to excel.” “This other person is so much better than I am.” “I should just find something else to do.” “That person is too intimidating to talk to.”
- This next part is fun. Instead of always resorting to cognitive restructuring (aka changing thoughts), I sometimes encourage my clients to do the following experiential activity: Take a walk through a mall. During this walk, you must emanate and radiate the essence of a successful person. You’d have to think about those with a winner’s mind (as we did above) and walk their walk. You should thereby be standing up straight, looking good, looking forward, making eye contact and most importantly, you must uphold self-respect, self-esteem, and self-confidence all the while!
This activity will do wonders for your self-esteem and, let me tell you, it will make you realize just how cruel you usually are to yourself.