Because I have a belief that the thoughts you think are a direct reflection of your reality, I often look to successful people who have mastered their craft. I love guessing about the thoughts they think. I enjoy the fun, pop culture icons provide. Take Justin Timberlake, for example. Seemingly down-to-earth, frikin’ cute, and – you gotta admit- really likeable. What do you think he believes when he walks into a room? Sure he’s successful but he hasn’t always been. Given his reality, we can deduce that his thoughts are probably positive. He believes that his interpersonal skills are good. He believes that being himself is enough. And even in the face of those who hate on him, you can bet your money that he will not waver.
What do you think when you enter a room? I was having this conversation with a client and you can probably imagine what she responded: “People give me confused looks because they judge me.” “I have to fill the silence otherwise I feel awkward.” “I have to come up with something interesting to say or else people won’t like me.”
Too commonly, when we walk into a room we believe that people don’t like us. Well, I hate to tell you this folks, but that is as much of a distortion as believing that everyone likes us. If both are irrational delusions, why not believe the one that makes you feel better?! And if that doesn’t work, adjust your belief to something more realistic: “When I walk into a room, people may judge me negatively or may judge me positively. …or they just might not give a s*%t at all” My argument is, if you’re going to think something deluded, believe the good-feeling delusion. If you can’t do that, at least start believing in something more realistic. “People don’t like me,” must be entirely wiped from your cognitive record, plain and simple.
If you like this idea, try it! Walk into a room believing in the possibility that everyone in that room likes you and likes each other. You will feel different…even good.