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Sassy Psychologist - Get Real. Get Sassy. psychology Archives | Sassy Psychologist

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SUCCESS IS NOT AN ANTIDOTE FOR SUICIDE
June 8, 2018

Suicide.

Two big names in one week.  Kate Spade and Anthony Bourdain.  Two highly successful people took their own lives by hanging themselves.  A gross misconception is that having abundant wealth or fame or success should somehow repel and protect us from depression and/or suicidal ideation and completion.  It’s time to wake up people – this is false!  In the day and age of the #metoo movement, it appears people are listening…so let’s talk about suicide and depression.

Depression is not prejudiced.

Early on in my career, I was working in the community doing some volunteer work with a population … Read the rest

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Anxiety  / Brain  / Depression  / Emotions  / Featured  / psychology

YOUR THOUGHTS MATTER – MORE THAN YOU THINK!
April 12, 2018

WHAT YOU THINK ABOUT MATTERS…A LOT!


Have you ever realized what you think about in your ‘in between’ moments? You know, the minutes before, after, and in between the scheduled events on your calendar. As you are cleaning off your desk, what are you thinking? During your commute, what are you thinking? In the shower, what are you thinking? As you are shaving…? As you are brushing your teeth…? As you are making a coffee…? A lot of you might say, “Well nothing. I’m not thinking much while I’m doing any of those things. My brain is actually turned off … Read the rest

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Anxiety  / Behavioural Therapy  / Brain  / Depression  / Emotions  / Featured  / Mental state  / psychology  / Self-esteem  / Worry

Can men and women ever really be JUST FRIENDS?
February 27, 2018

Look, platonic relationships between men and women exist.  Nobody should be so bold as to assume that there are ZERO platonic relationships between people who could be attracted to one other.  The world is big and the people in it are powerful enough to achieve very significant and (perhaps) counterintuitive feats.  But… how frequent or likely are platonic relationships between men and women?  This question is unfortunately flawed.

There is no real answer to the question about the likelihood of friendships between men and women because it fails to consider the psychological and emotional mindset of both people involved.  … Read the rest

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Emotions  / Featured  / Love  / Mental state  / psychology

Do You Care TOO Much?
January 18, 2018

Is “no” a word you have difficulty using with most people in your life?  Do you often stay at work late?  Do you rarely take your allotted breaks?  Do you continuously pay your kid’s rent?  Are you doing most of the chores at home?  If this sounds familiar, you are not alone.  This behavior depicts a particular side of the codependent relationship: the side of the over-functioning enabler/excessive caretaker.  As far as I’m concerned, this phenomenon is one of the major reasons why I have a job.  Let’s explore, shall we?

When I ask my clients to look up codependency, … Read the rest

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Behavioural Therapy  / Brain  / Dating  / Emotions  / Family  / Featured  / Mental state  / Parenting  / psychology  / Relationships  / Self-esteem

BYE BYE, BAD BOY!
November 30, 2017

Sassy received a request to write about the age-old question of why some women choose the bad boy.  I have three hypotheses as to why the bad boys “win” over those good guys who finish last.  Ok? Let’s talk!

It’s a defense mechanism.

Defense mechanisms are unconscious psychological phenomena put in place to protect our well-being from threats to our state-of-being.  For example, when someone simply cannot deal with a recent breakup, they might exhibit the defense mechanism called denial (or refusing to accept reality). They will unconsciously pretend that the relationship did not end.  In the case of liking … Read the rest

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Dating  / Emotions  / Featured  / Love  / psychology  / Relationships  / Self-esteem

ARE YOU GUILTY OF PARTY POLICING AND IMPRISONMENT?
November 6, 2017

With holiday parties coming up, I thought I’d discuss a phenomenon I’ve often witnessed and experienced both personally and professionally.  I’ve decided to call this concept Party Imprisonment.  Now this is not a legitimate psychological theory. It is instead a colloquial title I coined to explain a phenomenon I believe to exist.  I know the term Party Imprisonment sounds counterintuitive because… how can parties feel like prison, right? I mean, parties are supposed to be fun and carefree, aren’t they?  Let’s talk.

Party Imprisonment

The term Party Imprisonment is what I’m using to explain the behavior of an event host … Read the rest

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Anxiety  / Behavioural Therapy  / Emotions  / Family  / Featured  / Mental state  / psychology  / Relationships  / Self-esteem

TOP 5 THINGS YOUR PARTNER WANTS FROM YOU
October 30, 2017

As I’ve said before, I hate gender stereotyping but, once again, I’d be foolish to not acknowledge the trends respectively belonging to the men and women who come to my office.  Sidebar: What’s written here is not the truth for all couples and the preferences listed can easily be reversed in terms of gender.  Also, these preferences might apply to LGBTQ relationships in similar or different ways.

What Women Want

Researchers from East Carolina University have discovered that women are not choosing their men in terms of their ability to provide money or children.  Instead, qualities such as consideration, dependability, … Read the rest

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Behavioural Therapy  / Dating  / Emotions  / Family  / Featured  / Love  / psychology  / Relationships

DEAR DAUGHTERS, DON’T MAKE MOMMY’S MISTAKES IN LOVE
October 16, 2017

Let’s Get Personal

I’m still totally obsessed with the idea that we are radically responsible for our romantic (and other) misfortunes (see blogs called Radical Self-Responsibility and The Common Denomination Principle).  With this blog entry, I’m moving away from clinical psychology and theory to get a little personal. Today, I was thinking about my two beautiful daughters and what it will be like when they start dating.  My brain immediately began the torture with memories of a time when I was a flaming hot mess in dating. I mean, yikes, I needed to get my mind right – no … Read the rest

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Behavioural Therapy  / Dating  / Emotions  / Family  / Featured  / Love  / Parenting  / psychology  / Relationships  / Self-esteem

The Secret to the “Good Fight”
October 12, 2017

Oh, Dax, BRAVO!

So, the Sassy team came across a Harry interview with Kristen Bell that intrigued a lot of us. Bell explained that her husband, Dax Sheppard, essentially helped her adopt a healthier conflict resolution style by abandoning her door-slamming exit during a fight. I watched the interview only to discover that, by Bell’s account, Sheppard did actually execute beautiful, therapeutically-sound guidance…and I loved it. The only thing I would add is that, while the
dramatic exit can be considered toxic behavior during a fight, relentless hounding is also toxic. Where do you stand? Do you slam doors and … Read the rest

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Anxiety  / Behavioural Therapy  / Dating  / Depression  / Emotions  / Featured  / Forgiveness  / Love  / Mental state  / psychology  / Relationships

LET’S END THE “CRAZY” TALK
October 2, 2017

#MIAW17

In honour of mental health awareness week, I thought it important to discuss the main reason why mental health awareness campaigns exist in the first place.

I can’t begin to tell you how many clients come to me, not only with clinical symptoms, but with broken spirits. Whether they are dealing with mood or anxiety disorders, personality or relational problems, a huge number of my clients feel discouraged and isolated because of misunderstandings, closed-mindedness, and confusion on the part of their entourage. It is to these people, the friends and family members of individuals diagnosed with a clinical … Read the rest

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Anxiety  / Behavioural Therapy  / Depression  / Emotions  / Family  / Featured  / Mental state  / psychology  / Self-esteem  / Worry