psychology

Top 3 Things to Consider When Therapy Just Isn’t Working
June 27, 2017

Ok, so you finally decide to seek therapy despite your reservations.  You go to your appointments with an open-mind and maintain that you are willing to do what it takes to finally feel better and reduce your uncomfortable symptoms. Your therapist assesses your primary concerns, conducts a proper evaluation, collects and shares necessary info, and offers a treatment that seemingly harmonizes and compliments your therapeutic goals.  But…it is just not working.  What do you do?  I’d like you to consider these three things.

  • Therapist-Client Mismatch: Please do not go to therapy once and say, “that therapist just didn’t get me!”  
… Read the rest
Read More
No Comment

Anxiety  / Behavioural Therapy  / Brain  / Depression  / Emotions  / Featured  / Forgiveness  / Mental state  / Psychologist  / psychology  / Self-esteem  / Worry

Are You Enabling Your Friends?
May 29, 2017

ARE YOU AN ENABLER?

When we think of the word “enabling,” we often think of its use in addictions. You enable an addict when your attempt to help them, hurts them instead. For example, if you decide to pay the rent of an addicted person, you allow their drug use to continue. They should be paying their own rent and if they cannot, they must suffer the natural consequences involved. If you pay their rent for them, they are allowed to keep using their money however they desire (and inevitably, they desire drugs). 

When I discuss enabling with my clients, … Read the rest

Read More
No Comment

Addiction  / Anxiety  / Behavioural Therapy  / Depression  / Emotions  / Family  / Featured  / Mental state  / Parenting  / psychology  / Relationships  / Self-esteem

Self-deprecation: from humour to harmful
May 15, 2017

Hey people, stop insulting yourself for fun! It’s actually not funny!

Ok, I’m a big fan of humility for obvious reasons. I mean, there’s nothing worse than an arrogant prick (male or female) attempting to undermine you to compensate for their perceived personal failures in and at life. However humility, crossed with a bit of insecurity and self-deprecation, can be as equally unhealthy.

Not-taking-yourself-too-seriously has been known to be a desirable quality however, some people need to dial back the sarcasm and self-depreciation a lil’ bit. If you have a tendency to constantly poke fun at yourself and self-deprecate, you … Read the rest

Read More
No Comment

Anxiety  / Brain  / Dating  / Emotions  / Featured  / Love  / Mental state  / Narcissism  / Psychologist  / psychology  / Relationships  / Self-esteem  / Workplace

You’re Pissed Off. Now Can You Forgive?
May 4, 2017

So you got burned. BAD. Can you forgive?

A friend of mine (let’s call her Margo) had a pretty significant argument with someone in her personal life (let’s call her Joan).  After having conflict, Joan unleashed all hell onto Margo with angry and horrible words – severely insulting Margo’s character and general person.  Joan later apologized.  The apology was lengthy, detailed, and covered many bases.  On the surface, Margo accepted the apology.  However, weeks later, while having lunch, Margo exclaimed to me, “You know what?  I’m not over it!  Can I forgive her?”  Let’s talk about this.

When someone hurts … Read the rest

Read More
No Comment

Behavioural Therapy  / Emotions  / Family  / Featured  / Forgiveness  / Mental state  / psychology  / Relationships

Healthy Entitlement: Time to Get Yours
April 26, 2017

Take What’s Yours, For Relationships’ Sake!

What if I told you that forgetting to take and receive from other people is detrimental to all of your relationships? So many people are under the impression that displaying generosity and constantly giving are manners of being a good friend, spouse, or parent. Being kind and generous are absolutely wonderful qualities however, you also have to remember that taking and receiving what you are offered, is very important for your interpersonal well-being.

When I discuss this with my clients, I start a conversation about the term, entitlement.  I define three types of entitlement: … Read the rest

Read More
No Comment

Behavioural Therapy  / Emotions  / Family  / Featured  / Love  / Mental state  / Narcissism  / psychology  / Relationships  / Self-esteem

Self-Esteem: Choose It or Lose It!
April 10, 2017

Ahhh, the elusive concept of self-esteem….  In my personal and professional experience, true healthy self-esteem is difficult to behold and rare to witness.  Why is it so hard for a large majority of us to have confidence in our worth and abilities?  Well, we can hypothesize about this forever but one of my favorite psychological conclusions includes the consistent internalization of previously perceived failures.  In other words, repeatedly being hard on ourselves based on “negative” feedback from something or someone, can and does cause low self-esteem.  How can we, once and for all, increase our self-esteem steadily and successfully?  Let’s … Read the rest

Read More
No Comment

Anxiety  / Behavioural Therapy  / Dating  / Depression  / Emotions  / Featured  / Love  / Mental state  / psychology  / Relationships  / Self-esteem

The Sassy Truth About Burnouts
April 3, 2017

YOU HAD A BURNOUT, NOW WHAT?

I can’t begin to tell you how many people come into my office with similar dialogues about their jobs.  It goes something like this, “There is a lot of stress at my job.  I went to the doctor and got some time off.  I feel terrible about it all but I cannot tolerate the thought of being there or going back there.”  First, I want to acknowledge that feeling this way is valid and that there is nothing to be ashamed. In other words, please stop being so darned hard on yourselves, you’ve done … Read the rest

Read More
No Comment

Anxiety  / Burnout  / Depression  / Emotions  / Featured  / Mental state  / Psychologist  / psychology  / Self-esteem  / Workplace

Friends With Benefits, Huh? Stop Kidding Yourselves!
March 27, 2017

Now, I apologize in advance if it sounds like I am gender stereotyping in this blog entry. I am simply reporting on observations from my own psychological practice and experience and let me tell you, I do see respective tendencies among men and women when it comes to the concept of Friends with Benefits (FWB).   Let’s talk about it.

To be clear, FWB is an arrangement made between two people who decide to have sex on some type of a regular basis but who are not exclusive to one another. In other words, they are free to have sex with … Read the rest

Read More
No Comment

Behavioural Therapy  / Dating  / Emotions  / Family  / Featured  / Love  / Psychologist  / psychology  / Relationships  / Self-esteem

The #1 Secret That Will Stop the Fighting
March 20, 2017

Attachment Styles: The Secret That Will Stop the Fight

How familiar does this sound? A couple has a fight and while one of them is insistent on solving the problem immediately, the other is insistent on leaving. …so you have one person exiting the room while the other relentlessly chases them down. Even if this has never happened to you, I’m sure it somehow sounds familiar…age-old even.

Let me tell you what’s going on once and for all. Essentially, the way these two people are behaving is a by-product of their own personal and respective attachment styles.

Put simply, your … Read the rest

Read More
No Comment

Anxiety  / Behavioural Therapy  / Dating  / Emotions  / Family  / Featured  / Love  / Mental state  / Psychologist  / psychology  / Relationships

Selfish Parenting
March 13, 2017

I’m sure this title will enrage some people. Anyone who has chosen to be a parent understands that the love from parent to child feels like the very definition of unconditional. I know, I get it. The love I have for my daughter is larger and more powerful than anyone could have ever explained to me. However, when it comes time to teach and model, are we capable of recognizing when our own psychological wounds are getting in the way?

Before I go on, I need to say that we never exist completely devoid of our wounds and of our … Read the rest

Read More
No Comment

Behavioural Therapy  / Emotions  / Family  / Featured  / Parenting  / Psychologist  / psychology  / Relationships