Psychologist

Top 3 Things to Consider When Therapy Just Isn’t Working
June 27, 2017

Ok, so you finally decide to seek therapy despite your reservations.  You go to your appointments with an open-mind and maintain that you are willing to do what it takes to finally feel better and reduce your uncomfortable symptoms. Your therapist assesses your primary concerns, conducts a proper evaluation, collects and shares necessary info, and offers a treatment that seemingly harmonizes and compliments your therapeutic goals.  But…it is just not working.  What do you do?  I’d like you to consider these three things.

  • Therapist-Client Mismatch: Please do not go to therapy once and say, “that therapist just didn’t get me!”  
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Self-deprecation: from humour to harmful
May 15, 2017

Hey people, stop insulting yourself for fun! It’s actually not funny!

Ok, I’m a big fan of humility for obvious reasons. I mean, there’s nothing worse than an arrogant prick (male or female) attempting to undermine you to compensate for their perceived personal failures in and at life. However humility, crossed with a bit of insecurity and self-deprecation, can be as equally unhealthy.

Not-taking-yourself-too-seriously has been known to be a desirable quality however, some people need to dial back the sarcasm and self-depreciation a lil’ bit. If you have a tendency to constantly poke fun at yourself and self-deprecate, you … Read the rest

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The Sassy Truth About Burnouts
April 3, 2017

YOU HAD A BURNOUT, NOW WHAT?

I can’t begin to tell you how many people come into my office with similar dialogues about their jobs.  It goes something like this, “There is a lot of stress at my job.  I went to the doctor and got some time off.  I feel terrible about it all but I cannot tolerate the thought of being there or going back there.”  First, I want to acknowledge that feeling this way is valid and that there is nothing to be ashamed. In other words, please stop being so darned hard on yourselves, you’ve done … Read the rest

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Friends With Benefits, Huh? Stop Kidding Yourselves!
March 27, 2017

Now, I apologize in advance if it sounds like I am gender stereotyping in this blog entry. I am simply reporting on observations from my own psychological practice and experience and let me tell you, I do see respective tendencies among men and women when it comes to the concept of Friends with Benefits (FWB).   Let’s talk about it.

To be clear, FWB is an arrangement made between two people who decide to have sex on some type of a regular basis but who are not exclusive to one another. In other words, they are free to have sex with … Read the rest

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The #1 Secret That Will Stop the Fighting
March 20, 2017

Attachment Styles: The Secret That Will Stop the Fight

How familiar does this sound? A couple has a fight and while one of them is insistent on solving the problem immediately, the other is insistent on leaving. …so you have one person exiting the room while the other relentlessly chases them down. Even if this has never happened to you, I’m sure it somehow sounds familiar…age-old even.

Let me tell you what’s going on once and for all. Essentially, the way these two people are behaving is a by-product of their own personal and respective attachment styles.

Put simply, your … Read the rest

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Selfish Parenting
March 13, 2017

I’m sure this title will enrage some people. Anyone who has chosen to be a parent understands that the love from parent to child feels like the very definition of unconditional. I know, I get it. The love I have for my daughter is larger and more powerful than anyone could have ever explained to me. However, when it comes time to teach and model, are we capable of recognizing when our own psychological wounds are getting in the way?

Before I go on, I need to say that we never exist completely devoid of our wounds and of our … Read the rest

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Trigger Trump
March 7, 2017

I have written about Donald Trump before and once again, I must acknowledge that diagnosing anyone from afar is unethical, irresponsible, and impossible. Essentially, there is no way to determine whether or not Trump’s behavior is authentic or choreographed and I get that. After screaming at my news sources multiple times, I’ve also come to accept the fact that collecting psychological symptoms are of no interest to politicians or to news reporters because symptoms are difficult to measure with 100% accuracy, especially with someone who has not volunteered himself to psychological assessment. It’s frustrating to acknowledge these roadblocks because you … Read the rest

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Valentines Day Special: Sex and the City Syndrome Part Deux
February 13, 2017

How Bitching about your Love Life Will Only Bring You More Crappy Dates

We hear so many stereotypical things about single people on Valentine’s Day. You know…how all of them are “drinking margaritas wearing PJs whilst standing around a blazing fire they set in order to let pictures of their ex-partner’s burn into the profound depths of hell.” Listen. Unless they are part of some retrospective 90’s sitcom, I’m pretty sure none of this going on. However, this is not to say that individuals unhappy with their romantic lives are healthy on Valentine’s Day. I have a sneaking suspicion that … Read the rest

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The Judgement Free Zone
February 9, 2017

Your psychologist really isn’t judging you. Here’s how I know.

There are so many people who are reluctant to see a psychologist. A common thing I hear is, “I’m embarrassed and I fear the psychologist might judge me.”

Here’s how I know that your psychologist is not judging you. When I talk to people in my personal life about what I do for a living, they often exhibit pity for me. “How do you do it?” they ask. “How do you listen to people’s problems all day long without losing your mind?” Well, I’m here to clear up the fact … Read the rest

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Anxiety’s Kryptonite
January 31, 2017

If someone would have told me that I’d be teaching my clients about the importance of paced breathing, I would have said they were nuts. As a student, I would have rolled my eyes and said that this kind of intervention was useless. BOY WAS I WRONG! Proper breathing technique is an extremely important addition to any treatment plan, especially when treating anxiety. Let me explain why and hopefully I’ll convince you to the degree that I was convinced that breathing is an indispensable tool in increasing general well-being.

Part of our nervous system controls automatic behavior and another part … Read the rest

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