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Do You Care TOO Much?

January 18, 2018

Is “no” a word you have difficulty using with most people in your life? Do you often stay at work late? Do you rarely take your allotted breaks? Do you continuously pay your kid’s rent? Are you doing most of the chores at home? If this sounds familiar, you are not alone. This behavior depicts a particular side of the codependent relationship: the side of the over-functioning enabler/excessive caretaker. As far as I’m concerned, this phenomenon is one of the major reasons why I have a job. Let’s explore, shall we?

When I ask my clients to look up codependency, … Read the rest

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Behavioural Therapy / Brain / Dating / Emotions / Family / Featured / Mental state / Parenting / psychology / Relationships / Self-esteem

ARE YOU GUILTY OF PARTY POLICING AND IMPRISONMENT?

November 6, 2017

With holiday parties coming up, I thought I’d discuss a phenomenon I’ve often witnessed and experienced both personally and professionally. I’ve decided to call this concept Party Imprisonment. Now this is not a legitimate psychological theory. It is instead a colloquial title I coined to explain a phenomenon I believe to exist. I know the term Party Imprisonment sounds counterintuitive because… how can parties feel like prison, right? I mean, parties are supposed to be fun and carefree, aren’t they? Let’s talk.

Party Imprisonment

The term Party Imprisonment is what I’m using to explain the behavior of an event host … Read the rest

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Anxiety / Behavioural Therapy / Emotions / Family / Featured / Mental state / psychology / Relationships / Self-esteem

TOP 5 THINGS YOUR PARTNER WANTS FROM YOU

October 30, 2017

As I’ve said before, I hate gender stereotyping but, once again, I’d be foolish to not acknowledge the trends respectively belonging to the men and women who come to my office. Sidebar: What’s written here is not the truth for all couples and the preferences listed can easily be reversed in terms of gender. Also, these preferences might apply to LGBTQ relationships in similar or different ways.

What Women Want

Researchers from East Carolina University have discovered that women are not choosing their men in terms of their ability to provide money or children. Instead, qualities such as consideration, dependability, … Read the rest

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Behavioural Therapy / Dating / Emotions / Family / Featured / Love / psychology / Relationships

DEAR DAUGHTERS, DON’T MAKE MOMMY’S MISTAKES IN LOVE

October 16, 2017

Let’s Get Personal

I’m still totally obsessed with the idea that we are radically responsible for our romantic (and other) misfortunes (see blogs called Radical Self-Responsibility and The Common Denomination Principle). With this blog entry, I’m moving away from clinical psychology and theory to get a little personal. Today, I was thinking about my two beautiful daughters and what it will be like when they start dating. My brain immediately began the torture with memories of a time when I was a flaming hot mess in dating. I mean, yikes, I needed to get my mind right – no … Read the rest

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Behavioural Therapy / Dating / Emotions / Family / Featured / Love / Parenting / psychology / Relationships / Self-esteem

LET’S END THE “CRAZY” TALK

October 2, 2017

#MIAW17

In honour of mental health awareness week, I thought it important to discuss the main reason why mental health awareness campaigns exist in the first place.

I can’t begin to tell you how many clients come to me, not only with clinical symptoms, but with broken spirits. Whether they are dealing with mood or anxiety disorders, personality or relational problems, a huge number of my clients feel discouraged and isolated because of misunderstandings, closed-mindedness, and confusion on the part of their entourage. It is to these people, the friends and family members of individuals diagnosed with a clinical … Read the rest

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Anxiety / Behavioural Therapy / Depression / Emotions / Family / Featured / Mental state / psychology / Self-esteem / Worry

Are You Enabling Your Friends?

May 29, 2017

ARE YOU AN ENABLER?

When we think of the word “enabling,” we often think of its use in addictions. You enable an addict when your attempt to help them, hurts them instead. For example, if you decide to pay the rent of an addicted person, you allow their drug use to continue. They should be paying their own rent and if they cannot, they must suffer the natural consequences involved. If you pay their rent for them, they are allowed to keep using their money however they desire (and inevitably, they desire drugs).

When I discuss enabling with my clients, … Read the rest

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Addiction / Anxiety / Behavioural Therapy / Depression / Emotions / Family / Featured / Mental state / Parenting / psychology / Relationships / Self-esteem

You’re Pissed Off. Now Can You Forgive?

May 4, 2017

So you got burned. BAD. Can you forgive?

A friend of mine (let’s call her Margo) had a pretty significant argument with someone in her personal life (let’s call her Joan). After having conflict, Joan unleashed all hell onto Margo with angry and horrible words – severely insulting Margo’s character and general person. Joan later apologized. The apology was lengthy, detailed, and covered many bases. On the surface, Margo accepted the apology. However, weeks later, while having lunch, Margo exclaimed to me, “You know what? I’m not over it! Can I forgive her?” Let’s talk about this.

When someone hurts … Read the rest

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Behavioural Therapy / Emotions / Family / Featured / Forgiveness / Mental state / psychology / Relationships

Healthy Entitlement: Time to Get Yours

April 26, 2017

Take What’s Yours, For Relationships’ Sake!

What if I told you that forgetting to take and receive from other people is detrimental to all of your relationships? So many people are under the impression that displaying generosity and constantly giving are manners of being a good friend, spouse, or parent. Being kind and generous are absolutely wonderful qualities however, you also have to remember that taking and receiving what you are offered, is very important for your interpersonal well-being.

When I discuss this with my clients, I start a conversation about the term, entitlement. I define three types of entitlement: … Read the rest

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Behavioural Therapy / Emotions / Family / Featured / Love / Mental state / Narcissism / psychology / Relationships / Self-esteem

Friends With Benefits, Huh? Stop Kidding Yourselves!

March 27, 2017

Now, I apologize in advance if it sounds like I am gender stereotyping in this blog entry. I am simply reporting on observations from my own psychological practice and experience and let me tell you, I do see respective tendencies among men and women when it comes to the concept of Friends with Benefits (FWB). Let’s talk about it.

To be clear, FWB is an arrangement made between two people who decide to have sex on some type of a regular basis but who are not exclusive to one another. In other words, they are free to have sex with … Read the rest

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Behavioural Therapy / Dating / Emotions / Family / Featured / Love / Psychologist / psychology / Relationships / Self-esteem

The #1 Secret That Will Stop the Fighting

March 20, 2017

Attachment Styles: The Secret That Will Stop the Fight

How familiar does this sound? A couple has a fight and while one of them is insistent on solving the problem immediately, the other is insistent on leaving. …so you have one person exiting the room while the other relentlessly chases them down. Even if this has never happened to you, I’m sure it somehow sounds familiar…age-old even.

Let me tell you what’s going on once and for all. Essentially, the way these two people are behaving is a by-product of their own personal and respective attachment styles.

Put simply, your … Read the rest

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Anxiety / Behavioural Therapy / Dating / Emotions / Family / Featured / Love / Mental state / Psychologist / psychology / Relationships

Family

Party Imprisonment

What Women Want

Let’s Get Personal

#MIAW17

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