Family

Are You Enabling Your Friends?
May 29, 2017

ARE YOU AN ENABLER?

When we think of the word “enabling,” we often think of its use in addictions. You enable an addict when your attempt to help them, hurts them instead. For example, if you decide to pay the rent of an addicted person, you allow their drug use to continue. They should be paying their own rent and if they cannot, they must suffer the natural consequences involved. If you pay their rent for them, they are allowed to keep using their money however they desire (and inevitably, they desire drugs). 

When I discuss enabling with my clients, … Read the rest

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Addiction  / Anxiety  / Behavioural Therapy  / Depression  / Emotions  / Family  / Featured  / Mental state  / Parenting  / psychology  / Relationships  / Self-esteem

You’re Pissed Off. Now Can You Forgive?
May 4, 2017

So you got burned. BAD. Can you forgive?

A friend of mine (let’s call her Margo) had a pretty significant argument with someone in her personal life (let’s call her Joan).  After having conflict, Joan unleashed all hell onto Margo with angry and horrible words – severely insulting Margo’s character and general person.  Joan later apologized.  The apology was lengthy, detailed, and covered many bases.  On the surface, Margo accepted the apology.  However, weeks later, while having lunch, Margo exclaimed to me, “You know what?  I’m not over it!  Can I forgive her?”  Let’s talk about this.

When someone hurts … Read the rest

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Behavioural Therapy  / Emotions  / Family  / Featured  / Forgiveness  / Mental state  / psychology  / Relationships

Healthy Entitlement: Time to Get Yours
April 26, 2017

Take What’s Yours, For Relationships’ Sake!

What if I told you that forgetting to take and receive from other people is detrimental to all of your relationships? So many people are under the impression that displaying generosity and constantly giving are manners of being a good friend, spouse, or parent. Being kind and generous are absolutely wonderful qualities however, you also have to remember that taking and receiving what you are offered, is very important for your interpersonal well-being.

When I discuss this with my clients, I start a conversation about the term, entitlement.  I define three types of entitlement: … Read the rest

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Behavioural Therapy  / Emotions  / Family  / Featured  / Love  / Mental state  / Narcissism  / psychology  / Relationships  / Self-esteem

Friends With Benefits, Huh? Stop Kidding Yourselves!
March 27, 2017

Now, I apologize in advance if it sounds like I am gender stereotyping in this blog entry. I am simply reporting on observations from my own psychological practice and experience and let me tell you, I do see respective tendencies among men and women when it comes to the concept of Friends with Benefits (FWB).   Let’s talk about it.

To be clear, FWB is an arrangement made between two people who decide to have sex on some type of a regular basis but who are not exclusive to one another. In other words, they are free to have sex with … Read the rest

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Behavioural Therapy  / Dating  / Emotions  / Family  / Featured  / Love  / Psychologist  / psychology  / Relationships  / Self-esteem

The #1 Secret That Will Stop the Fighting
March 20, 2017

Attachment Styles: The Secret That Will Stop the Fight

How familiar does this sound? A couple has a fight and while one of them is insistent on solving the problem immediately, the other is insistent on leaving. …so you have one person exiting the room while the other relentlessly chases them down. Even if this has never happened to you, I’m sure it somehow sounds familiar…age-old even.

Let me tell you what’s going on once and for all. Essentially, the way these two people are behaving is a by-product of their own personal and respective attachment styles.

Put simply, your … Read the rest

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Anxiety  / Behavioural Therapy  / Dating  / Emotions  / Family  / Featured  / Love  / Mental state  / Psychologist  / psychology  / Relationships

Selfish Parenting
March 13, 2017

I’m sure this title will enrage some people. Anyone who has chosen to be a parent understands that the love from parent to child feels like the very definition of unconditional. I know, I get it. The love I have for my daughter is larger and more powerful than anyone could have ever explained to me. However, when it comes time to teach and model, are we capable of recognizing when our own psychological wounds are getting in the way?

Before I go on, I need to say that we never exist completely devoid of our wounds and of our … Read the rest

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Behavioural Therapy  / Emotions  / Family  / Featured  / Parenting  / Psychologist  / psychology  / Relationships

Your Patterns Don’t Lie
February 21, 2017

I’d love for everyone to think about the consistency of their behavioral patterns and tendencies. Do you habitually run from conflict? Do you consistently tell white lies when confronted? Do you consistently drop everything to take care of someone in need? Once you begin to understand your own patterns of behaving, you will understand yourself like never before and you will be given the opportunity to modify the behaviors that no longer serve you.

Now, it takes a while to accumulate enough information to formally identify your true behavioral patterns. A client I had years ago admitted to having a … Read the rest

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Behavioural Therapy  / Brain  / Emotions  / Family  / Featured  / Love  / Mental state  / psychology  / Relationships

The Common Denominator Principle (Spoiler Alert: It’s YOU!)
January 24, 2017

The Common Denominator Principle: Start taking responsibility for your s#@t!

An important question I ask my clients at the time of our first session is whether or not they’ve seen a psychologist before me. I ask this because if they have seen any other practitioners, I need to know why they’ve not gone back and instead have come to see me. I know we have our work cut out for us when my client responds with something like, “I’ve seen at least 5 people before you and they just didn’t get me. It has just never worked out with any … Read the rest

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Anxiety  / Behavioural Therapy  / Brain  / Dating  / Depression  / Emotions  / Family  / Featured  / Love  / Psychologist  / psychology  / Relationships  / Self-esteem

Christmas for the Caretaker: Quit the Martyr and Start the Merry
December 21, 2016

Sassy has talked about the art of receiving a few times, the most recent being: how to receive in the bedroom. Today, let’s talk about the holidays! Time to quit the martyr act and start getting what’s yours!  

I grew up in a family of self-sacrificing women. They would do everything in their power to ensure the safety of their loved-ones and would assume responsibility for everyone’s happiness. It was a crossbreed between caretaking and martyrdom that was seen as necessary and admirable. To this day, I try to explain to my beautiful mother that these tendencies are not healthy … Read the rest

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Behavioural Therapy  / Depression  / Emotions  / Family  / Featured  / psychology  / Relationships  / Self-esteem

The Gift-Card: Considerate or Careless?
December 19, 2016

So I’m on my way into the city listening to local radio when a listener calls in to express the fact that she refuses to give gift-cards as holiday presents. She expressed that going the extra mile by trying to find the perfect gift, displays thoughtfulness, respect, and appreciation. “Gift cards are too easy and thoughtless” she said.
What do you think? I mean, is she right? Should we all ditch the gift-card giving to ultimately be “more considerate” people?

Here’s the psychological truth. A gift-giver gives the gift he/she would like to obtain in the manner he/she would like … Read the rest

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Behavioural Therapy  / Emotions  / Family  / Featured  / psychology  / Relationships